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[bitofalegend]

Nobody (not even Vod) can remember where the nickname came from. Vod smoked her first cigarette when she was nine, but she didn't really start smoking until she was twelve. She went to three primary schools and two senior schools, plus a PRU (that permanent exclusion was not her fault). If she told you that her favourite colour is actually pink, nobody'd believe her. Her middle name is Louise. Sometimes, when it was really, really bad, she'd shut herself in the wardrobe. University was just another excuse not to go home. It's really difficult to forgive her dad. God knows what she'll do when she actually has to join the RAF. Before that, she didn't really get the idea of love at first sight.

She's got a criminal record...but only a little one. She hasn't got one memory of her mum that doesn't feature the Beast making an appearance. She's been tall since a growth spurt when she was twelve; at first, it really made her miserable. It sounds wanky, but the way Vod dresses - it's mostly performance, innit. You've got to figure out a way to make it work for you, being five foot ten at fourteen. Her childhood had a lot of flowery dresses in it. Oregon is pretty much exactly the opposite of Vod's type. Arbroath would have been beautiful if it was wasn't for the fucking fish. She was fourteen when she made Onion do it twice. Vod's never minded being called a 'girl' but she has got her own ideas about what that means.

Nan saved her life, more than once. Geeks and poshos - God, she never expected to love them so much. Most of her life, the worst insult that her mum's been able to throw at her, the one that hurts the most, is that she's cold and nobody will ever love her. Sometimes, she actually believes that. For Vod, 'off-grid' was a music festival in Iceland and then a lot of fucking around. Sex has never, ever been anything she's felt any need to apologise for. When she was a kid, she used to go to her nan's and watch old episodes of Doctor Who. The key is to not give a fuck what anyone thinks. The double skull ring was an eighteenth birthday present. The problem is that she's always cared what her mum thinks.

She makes it her business to try everything at least once. She figures that the worst that can happen is that you decide to never, ever do that again. If she absolutely had to choose - like, if someone had a gun to her head - she'd probably fuck Howard first out of the lads. Mexico was fucking incredible. Whisky and coke has always been Vod's poison of choice. She might not be ashamed, but she wouldn't admit to half of it in JP's hearing, mostly because she'd never hear the end of it. There's this vivid sense memory of Oregon sitting up in the middle of the night and the way hit her profile and one breast and her side. The smell of her hair. Vod first cut her hair short when she was thirteen. She got her first tattoo at fifteen, care of a forged permission slip.

Shales ripping her out about that essay was totally humiliating in a way that she had no defense for. Chris used to tell her that she was stupid all the time. The first time she kissed Oregon, she was shit-faced; it was sloppy and untidy and it might have been the best kiss she'd ever had. Vod firmly believes that Johnny Rotten should be ashamed of what he's become. Headphones can be a god-send; sometimes, you just want to feel like you're on your own. Wanking is nothing to be ashamed of, either - it's a natural bodily function. Most of the way Vod dresses comes down to convincing herself that she's hot. Vod genuinely, unabashedly loves anal...but only once in a while. All of her rings have some kind of sentimental value. She hasn't seen her dad since she was nine.

Once, someone told her that gender can be fluid and she felt something click into place. She pretty much fancied Oregon from the first moment she set eyes on her. English Lit because she couldn't think of one other thing she thought she could get away with. Vod is actually an excellent shot; all those years as a cadet did actually pay off. It sort of pisses her off that gutting fish is probably her biggest marketable skill. For someone who takes clothes as seriously as she does, Vod has absolutely no problem being naked. It took her years to stop hating the gap in her teeth. At the moment, one of her biggest regrets is the fact that she's never kissed Oregon sober. She doesn't give a fuck about pronouns. Riz would probably have turned out to be a disappointing fuck, anyway.

That overdose was actually fucking scary. JP isn't as much of a twat as she thought he was at first. Sometimes, Vod really likes hooking up with the kind of bloke (or girl) who'll pull her hair and slap her arse. Once or twice, maybe a handful of times, she didn't move quick enough and Chris actually hit her. She left most of her shit behind when she left home. Sometimes, she just wants to cause a little bit of chaos. She's seen Oregon naked exactly once. Vod might tend towards masculine clothes but she does occasionally like really pretty knickers. Got her left nipple pierced when she was sixteen. Her nan's name is Adeline.

In order: the compass, the bird, the skull, the heart. Vod has no allergies that she knows about. She convinced herself that she was actually in love with Javier for about five minutes. At seventeen, she went down on a girl for the first time. She's always been a bit of a magpie - she collects bits of jewellery because they catch her eye. She really does like colour. She's got a weakness for Jason Statham movies. The only exercise that Vod ever does is lifting weights. She's done her last few haircuts herself. She just doesn't understand girly shit.

Until Howard said it, it honestly hadn't occurred to Vod that she never asked to be born. Once or twice, Oregon's fallen asleep with her head in Vod's lap and Vod hasn't had the heart to wake her. Running for election, Vod actually felt like she was worth something for a while. She didn't expect to enjoy therapy but it really worked! That very hot dyke's name was joy, and 'education' involved nipple clamps, a paddle and a very large strap-on. It really hurt that Oregon acted like she was stupid. Yes, she was jealous of Tony Shales. Vod will watch pretty much any sport going. The only situation that she would fuck Kingsley would be a fuck-or-die scenario. She never expected to love living in that house as much as she does.

You're a shit mum, and you always have been. One day, if she ever ends up a mum, Vod hopes that she's better than Chris was. Being five foot 10 with short hair makes you a bully magnet. Vod has never been afraid of a fight. Russell Brand's head kind of freaked her out. Chris used to say that she was cold but Vod feels like that's the last thing she is. She's actually got a surprisingly good singing voice, but being a musican has never appealed to her - she prefers to just fuck them, thanks very much. At school, Vod's favourite subjects were English and Art. Her first pair of Doc Martens were hand-me-downs.

They're her geeks and poshos and she loves them more than anything else in the world.